Have you ever felt like your inner critic was your own worst enemy? I know exactly how that feels. For years, I let it control how I felt about myself, constantly tearing me down and making me doubt everything I did. But one day, I asked myself, “Do I even need to listen to this voice?” That’s when everything started to change. Lessons From My Inner Critic The next time my inner critic pointed out something negative, instead of rejecting it, I stopped and asked myself, “Why am I thinking this?” And that’s when I had a breakthrough. That voice wasn’t some absolute truth— it was just trying to protect me from these fears. Once I understood that, these thoughts didn’t have the same grip on me because I saw them for what they really were – just thoughts. So, I started challenging those negative thoughts. And with each challenge, I began to rewrite the story I was telling myself. Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do, I started to see all the things I could do. Here’s what I learned along the way: our thoughts are powerful; they have the power to shape how we see ourselves and, ultimately, how we live our lives. If we let those negative thoughts run the show, they can really hold us back. But when we challenge them and shift our mindset, we can change our entire outlook on life. So, where do you start? 3 Ways to Overcome Your Inner Critic The first step to overcoming these thoughts is becoming aware of them when they happen. Here are three simple ways to help you do just that: 1. Start Paying Attention to Your Thoughts For a long time, I let my inner critic convince me that I wasn’t good enough. But one day, I took a step back and asked, “Is this really true?” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t! This realization helped me see my thoughts more clearly and challenge them instead of just accepting them. When a negative thought creeps in, try this: ask yourself, “Is this really true?” Then, write down the thought and list reasons for and against it. Seeing it on paper can help you understand why it’s not true and start to push back against those negative ideas. 2. Reframe Your Way of Thinking I used to think failure was the end of the road, but then I learned to see it as a chance to learn something new. I know that sounds easier said than done, but once I started looking for the lesson in every setback, I felt more in control of my life. Next time you face a challenge, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Write down one positive thing you gained from the experience. This small shift can help you focus on growth instead of what went wrong. 3. Focus on What You Bring to the Table It’s easy to get caught up in what we think we lack, but I found that when I focused on what I did well, my confidence grew. I began to appreciate my unique strengths and abilities, and I realized I had the tools I needed to succeed—I just needed to believe in myself more. Take a few minutes each day to jot down something you did well, even if it’s small. Over time, you’ll build a list of strengths that you can turn to whenever you need a confidence boost. Conclusion This journey has taught me just how powerful our thoughts can be. When we embrace growth, there’s no limit to what we can achieve. Being honest with myself, learning to bounce back from failure, and committing to lifelong learning have not only transformed my life but also shaped the way I approach challenges. These lessons remind me every day that the path to personal growth is always there—as long as we’re willing to take it.
Author: Bianca Cardenas, PhD
If you're looking to grow as a leader and make an impact, my mission is to make it easier for you. I offer simple, actionable tools that help you stand out, build stronger connections, and grow your confidence.