Have you ever thought about how your upbringing affects who you are today? The things we go through when we’re young shape how we act and interact with others. I had an experience that made me see this clearly and understand why building self-awareness is important for leaders. Lessons from Our Upbringing A few years ago, I watched our CEO give feedback to Maria, a Senior Director of HR at a large shipping company. Maria had worked hard for 20 years to get where she was, but early in her career, she was told she was too timid. To overcome this, she spent the last five years making sure her voice was heard. When we looked at her results, we saw that while she was very smart, she could share more of her thoughts and feelings. When I asked her about it, she admitted she still struggled to balance focusing on others and expressing her own needs. Maria opened up more, saying, “I had to grow up quickly. My mom was going through a tough divorce, and I wanted to support her.” This experience made Maria kind and empathetic but also caused her to put others’ needs above her own. My Own Story Hearing Maria’s story made me think about my own childhood. My mother had emotional struggles, and my father was an alcoholic, so I had to step up and take on a parent role. This made me a good listener, which helped in my job as a consultant and coach. But it also made it hard for me to assert myself. Seeing the similarities between Maria’s story and mine showed me how much our upbringing shapes us. Understanding this can help us use our strengths better and work on areas where we need to grow. 3 Strategies to Leverage Our Upbringing to Build Self-Awareness Understanding how our upbringing shapes who we are today can help us build self-awareness. Here are three practical ways to do this: 1. Recognize Your Patterns Think about how your past experiences influence your behavior. Do you notice any patterns in how you react to certain things? When you start to feel triggered, make sure to jot down your reactions and feelings. This can help you spot reoccurring patterns, which helps you understand how your subconscious reactions affect how you show up now. 2. Reflect on Your Strengths and Opportunities Knowing what you’re good at and where you need to grow helps you be more intentional. This insight lets you focus on tasks that play to your strengths and find workarounds for your opportunities. Start by writing down all the things you’re good at and the areas you need to work on. To understand if you’re on the right track, ask for feedback from people you trust. Although this might feel uncomfortable at first, their perspective can help you see things you might miss. What do your patterns have in common with your strengths and opportunities? 3. Leverage Your Strengths Once you know your strengths, find creative ways to use them to your advantage. This can help you maximize your strengths and make a greater impact. Next to each strength you’ve listed, note examples of when you’ve used it successfully. This helps you see how to apply these strengths in your current role or new opportunities. Understanding how your upbringing shapes your leadership style helps you make conscious efforts to improve and align your strengths with your unique approach. Conclusion: Embrace Your Story Our past shapes us, but it doesn’t define us. By recognizing how your upbringing influences you, you can make intentional choices to improve. Reflect on your story, embrace what makes you unique, and use your talents. By taking these steps, you’ll become more intentional in your leadership journey and positively impact those around you. Remember, your story is unique and powerful. Use it to lead with purpose. For more leadership development tips, follow my LinkedIn or check out my podcast, Next-Gen Leaders. Until next time, keep striving, growing, and leading with purpose.
